i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
