seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize