a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
we're so committed to being not committed
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
