Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
