I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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