Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
