drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
