Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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