ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
