Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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