No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
