i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
