absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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