the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
