Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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