Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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