I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
