he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
