You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
