haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
