Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
handjob tips. give me some.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
