...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize