pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
