belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Text me some of your sweat
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
