We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
