I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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