I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
