For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize