yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
