Welp...herpes.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Pants are for mortals
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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