Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
