Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
and she was petting her beer can
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
