i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
