Are we in a gay sports bar?
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
