never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
