He told me they were just razor bumps!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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