I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize