Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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