When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
