Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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