But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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