do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You did what with his pubic hair?
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