you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Randomize
