After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
