i wish there were pregnant emoticons
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
