wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
