what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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