his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
