First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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