belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
