Nicole vs. Life
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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