Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
