If that was your dad, he is hot
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Success! We fucked roommates!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
