I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
