ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
