her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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