Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
