There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
