AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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